Transparency? Forgiveness?

Do you get to benefit from your past misdeeds while demanding people forgive you for them?

Do you get to demand accountability in someone while not offering any accountability of your own?

I told Anthony his critique of someone else for having "attack dogs" rang hollow, because he has his own attack dog squad (as do I, and I participate in many of those attack dog squads as well). Have I earned the right to critique him of this, if I haven't owned up to it? No, I haven't.

Anyways.

Here's a list of all of my breaches of staff policy that I can remember off of the top of my head, right now, written in 10 minutes. Obviously it is very biased towards myself, so please keep that in mind when you are reading. No evidence and it is CERTAINLY not an exhaustive list.

1. Instead of retrieving the advent items myself, I worldedit copy/pasted the "master" setup into my basement.
2. I used creative mode to fly, like, ALL the time. Moderators only have access to /fly, which is tracked in the main staff discord chat, but once you're an admin+ you can use creative mode, which is only tracked in the backend logs. I also used spectator mode to fly all the time!
3. I opened EVERYONE's chests, everyone's doors, everyone's everything. I encouraged new staff members to do this as well as long as they promised not to take anything, because "snooping is fun".
4. Silently editing lawsuit posts so it wouldn't show anything changed.
5. Giving myself items using creative or other commands.
6. Actioning my own requests without getting permission from another staff member. I did stuff like edit the elections plugin config to fix something while setting up an election or making "I voted" buttons while working for DOS so I wouldn't have to wait for staff.
7. I confiscated a bunch of illegal netherite from a player, told everyone I destroyed it, but actually kept it.

I FREQUENTLY, FREQUENTLY, I can't even count how many times, breached conflict of interest policy in some way or another. I also definitely bypassed the campaigning slowmode. I've snooped places I shouldn't, I've read things I shouldn't have, I've done so many things that breach policy. I am human. I can't name a single staff member who hasn't breached staff policy somehow, so what makes me so different than the things I am railing against?

This benefits us MASSIVELY. Instead of waiting around for staff to implement things, you can just open a ticket, say "Hey, if everyone is too busy, can I do this myself?", get permission, and get it done. People who are not a part of this circle do not have this fast track access. Staff also absolutely prioritize requests from other staff, because other staff "get it" and the request is therefore easier and smoother to deal with. Other staff know what to ask for and exactly how to ask for it, they have a camaraderie with each other, they're genuinely excited to help each other out. This is extremely understandable to a certain degree. Players can be SO cruel, and so demanding, and so ANGRY when you do not or cannot fulfill their request. It's still unfair.

If I wanted something done, but didn't want to "breach COI policy" by actioning it myself, I'd just do all of the work BEFORE actually putting it into the game. Then I'd throw that in a ticket, say "hey this should work as is but please double check", and bada bing bada boom five minutes later my close friend has fixed a big issue that's draining the government's balances. This is not a luxury the Multiman administration has, and the changing of the guard from the ingroup to the outgroup has really stressed staff's willingness to do the hard, annoying work it takes to keep this beautiful and cursed server running.

Jada said something along the lines of "End, if staff as a group are making a decision and using you as the sacrificial lamb, that is SERIOUSLY fucked up", and she has finally said the thing I have been trying to say since I joined the staff team over a year ago. End and Tech are NOT lying when they say the decision to limit towns is pretty unanimous in the admin+ team. Even as President when I was TRYING to figure out how to steal Aventura's town status and give it to Willow (Yes, I was genuinely actually pursuing this, there should be an archive of my convo in exec-staff somewhere), I was STILL pushing for the staff policy on towns behind the scenes, and you can see that with how quickly I folded to End's demand that I limit town councilors in my "new" and "improved" EO. My political and staff personas were basically the same person. I punished people for mixing staff and politics while CONSTANTLY doing the same, and I have been railing on End for doing this while never being brave enough to admit I do the same.

I, too, have been using End as a sacrificial lamb, as a shield to hide behind for the ugly and unpopular parts of staffing. I feel guilty about what I have done, but there is someone "more guilty" than I am, because he has a TERRIBLE PR team. I have a great PR team (funny, awesome, cool, friendly), so I knew if End was just NICER and QUIETER about all the bullshit he was pulling, he'd be fine. Because I was pulling bullshit left right and centre and nobody EVER took it seriously enough to have a "formal staff discussion" with me about it (if I recall correctly). I got "formal staff discussions" over crashing the FUCK out at people in #politics, but never about ANYTHING else.

Towns, perms abuse, cruelty, the breaching of the "sacred" staff/politics line, "owner" vetos (really leadership, but End takes the flack for them), the secret talks about who the "staff vote" is going to. I have created a martyr and I believe when he dies, my own sins will be forgiven, but they won't.

I do not have a point, or a conclusion, and I don't even really know what I am trying to say. I hope something here gives someone insight into this blight on our silly little politics roleplay server. I hope Slime Mario shows up and calls me a terrible person for doing these things.

I think you should hold me accountable for this EXACTLY the same way you are holding End accountable for it. If you do not want to do that, he without uhhhh god what is the fucking idiom. Let he who is without staff policy breaches cast the first smite.

Thanks.